No Matter What

“They will fight against you, but they will not overcome you, for I am with you to deliver you.” Jeremiah 1:19  

Early one Wednesday morning in June, I went into work only to find out I had been removed from the schedule.  Details do not matter and all I will say in regards to the situation is that I chose to uphold my professional integrity and patient safety no matter what the cost.  When I took the nursing pledge on the night of pinning, I vowed to care for the patient as a WHOLE person, which includes not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.  Often times, it is the few minutes that we actually spend talking to patient that does the most healing.  I was told that I cared too much.  God calls Christians to be bold, strong and courageous examples of His unconditional love and I will never back down from my call to first and foremost, love people!  Patients don’t remember nurses for giving them medications, emptying their drains, hanging IV fluids, dressing changes, etc.  However, they do remember the extra time we spent with them showering them with love.  So, I left knowing that I had given it my all and with my head held high.  As I walked out for the last time, I had a sense of relief as I knew God was protecting me.  I knew that this situation went through His hand before it reached me.  I knew He shut this door and trusted that he would open a new door. 

As the day went on with phone call after phone call with my company, fear began to take over.  What was I going to do, where was I going to live, how was I going to pay bills, I have no job to fall back on.  The list could go on and on.  I began to allow myself to fall back into believing all my insecurities… you are a failure, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t smart enough, etc.  Needless to say, by that night I was falling apart.  The pain of feelings of uncertainty, rejection, loss and even disrespect began to set in.  That night I sent a dear friend a message saying I needed to talk.  As our Christian friends do best, she called and talked with me for over an hour on the phone.  She was such a blessing that night and helped me not let Satan have control!  As I sat down that night for some time with Jesus, he sent me the word, EXPECT.  Little did I know what it meant that night but that was the word I would cling to during this difficult time. 

So the packing began. On Monday, June 22^nd, Lillie & I began the journey back to NC.  I took my time traveling back as I was worn down.  We arrived back in NC on Thursday, June 25^th and crashed my mom’s house. 

On the drive back, I received several calls for open positions I had asked my recruiter to send my information to.  My mind was spinning because just a week ago, I was without a job and now I have 3 hospitals making offers.  After asking many questions, I felt these were not good matches for me.  I continued to cling to the word EXPECT.  I had received a call which I really did not expect to go anywhere because I was lacking two certifications they were requesting.  After our phone conversation, she stated she would get back to me if the directors were interested.  Well, I didn’t think much more about it because normally that was their polite way of saying “Thanks, but no thanks.”  A few hours later the lady called me back with more questions.  Again, I didn’t think much more about it.  Then came the call from my recruiter…Kristin, you have an offer from the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center.  There it was…EXPECT!!  Since nursing school, my love has been in oncology especially pediatrics.  This is an opportunity that I’ve only dreamed about.  I’m still in disbelief!  I worked on a med/surg/oncology floor before I felt God was calling me to travel.  I left NC in November 2014 with lots of uncertainty but trusting God was in control!  Now I stand in awe of how God sent me the word EXPECT and little did I know I would be EXPECTing to work at one of the best cancer hospitals in the US.  God is so good! 

Lillie and I started our journey to Houston, TX on July 23^rd. 

So to answer the burning question, what did I do with a month off?  It was a WONDERFUL month mostly spent with my family.  I was incredibly blessed with the ability to take a month off.

Some of the many blessings from that month include:

• Many quality hours spent with my grandmother as her health was rapidly declining.
• Ability to help our family from a medical stand point make hard decisions that needed to be made regarding my grandmother’s health.
• See my grandmother’s wish come true to have all of her children and grandchildren together for our July 4^th cookout and getting to hear her several days later say “that was the best day ever”. This day came about because she knew her health was not well enough to attend our cousin’s wedding.   
• Spent quality time with my other grandparents.
• Spent quality time with my mom’s brother’s family and got to go to my cousins’ swim meet.
• SLEEP!!
• Living with my mom for a month, enjoying late night talks and quality time together, a trip to the mountains, buying me a bag full of candy to help with the drive, literally changing her house (imagine all my stuff still packed in bags and boxes), and for taking in not only me but my sweet Lille.   (We had a house full…1 cat and 2 dogs!)
• Time spent with my mom’s neighbors at their cookout.  She has an incredible group of people living in her neighborhood!
• Attended a childhood family friend’s daughter’s funeral.  She was 19 and killed in a car accident.  It was one of the best celebrations of life I’ve ever attended and I left that place feeling very encouraged and most of all totally felt God’s presence during that service…more to come on this in another blog post! 
• Witnessed the first out of eight cousins tie the knot!  Blake & Kelly’s wedding was a blast!  Our table (made up of the other six cousins and dates) will forever be known as “Table 6”.  We all enjoyed dancing the night away which brought back tons of memories from our many beach trips together!  
• Spent quality time with my sister and her boyfriend…bonfires into the late night, roasting marshmallows, crawdad’s baseball game, fishing out on the lake, and sharing the famous “last dinner” at Carrabba’s.  

 If you find yourself enduring difficult times, don’t lose heart or be afraid.  Your Father is using these circumstances to strengthen your faith, equipping you for higher service.  Just keep trusting Him and EXPECT great blessings to come from this adversity. No matter what comes, He will bring good from it.